I haven't written a personal journal in forever, so I figured it was about time again.
health's been up and down and suddenly it's rather down again. I've been diagnosed
with high blood pressure in 2013. Last week I had to get a check up to see if anything changed while I was on medication. I can't make this a very short story, so here goes:
The assistant called me in after the results came in on Thursday, while I had another scheduled appointment the Monday after that. It couldn't wait 'til Monday, my results were abnormal and the practice nurse 'needed to see me today'. When I mentioned I had an appointment scheduled for Monday she said it didn't matter and that I needed to be there in 40 minutes. Of course I was thinking the worst. Just like my boss and my colleagues, since I was at work and told them what I just heard. By the time I got there my heart was racing and I'm sure my BP was rising fast. The nurse sat me down and said very calmly; "The results are in.. and I need to check your BP.". I'm sure you can imagine I freaked out: "What? That's all you wanted to see me for? I have an appointment on Monday! Your assistant made me think I was going to get horrible news!". She turned red and apologized. She said she didn't realize we already had an appointment scheduled. I told her she could measure my BP but that it would be higher than it would've been next Monday. It was 140/90, which was still good according to her due to the circumstances. I asked her about the abnormal results and she looked at them and told me that I already knew this from the hospital check up 6 months ago. I was getting more angry since the assistant really made me think the worst. After that she did tell me that the creatinine levels have been rising again, even though I'm on medication. I asked her some questions that she couldn't answer and she referred me to see my doctor again that Monday since I already had an appointment. We talked a bit more after that and she was surprised that there weren't any scans or whatever.
Last Monday I went to the doctor and I feel like he's not taking it seriously at all. I told him what his nurse told me about the scans and everything else. He laughed it off, saying scans aren't necessary. He looked at the results and said that something must've gone wrong because 'you wouldn't be sitting here if these are correct', which angered me again since the nurse didn't mention this. He then looked at them a bit more and asked if I currently had a bladder infection which I indeed thought I had. The infection (which I also seemed to be having during the first test in 2013, which was then negative) could cause my kidneys to work harder which then could cause my BP to rise. I took another test on Tuesday, which was surprisingly also negative when I called Wednesday. Apparently my leukocytes are high enough to make them think I have an infection, but the results keep coming back negative. My doctor had two days off, so I'll call back tomorrow. My dad wants me to bitch up and exaggerate a bit so they'll do a scan or ultrasound. I'm still having a nagging feeling in my left lower back and lower abdomen. It's been like that since weeks and weeks. My instincts tell me something's wrong. I need my doctor to take me seriously.
Work has been crazy the last couple of months. We've been working on SAP for years and we've finally switched on February 1st. I've been working crazy hours, even late shifts (I work an office job) and Sundays (200%, yay!). It's been taking a toll on me though, next to the insecurity about my health, etc. (my aunt's battling cancer and her husband, my uncle, is currently in the ICU due to operation after operation going wrong. Murphy's law).
Meanwhile I'm having a dilemma. It's probably something small, no big deal, but when I think about it for too long my mind makes it a massive immense problem and I can't decide
I've been on dA for way over 10 years. I've been thanking everyone for every single favorite, watch, llama, replying to every comment I get, etc. The thing is.. I can't keep up anymore. I have a massive backlog going back to May 2014. The watches, llamas and replying to comments is something I'm not going to give up. I'm definitely continuing this. The 'problem' is that I can't keep up with the favorites. People can't even remember adding something of mine to their favorites back then, for sure, haha. But I think I might feel incredibly guilty for just deleting them.
So, I'm wondering: Do you expect a reply from a deviant when you've added something from them to their favorites? Or are you fine with just adding it and then.. nothing? What do you think of the general thank you messages on profile pages?Basically: How bad is it if I'll just delete the favorites?
, because he needs to be in this journal. Novel. It's way longer than I intended it to be, but I rarely ever write personal journals so.. fuck it